Do cats get jealous? You bet they do. Here are a few tips on how to keep the peace in a multi-cat household.
Your cat has been acting strange. Every time they see you with the other cat, their tail fuzzes up. They refuse to eat the premium food you bought. When you go to pet them, they scurry away and glare at you from the shadows.
Wait, does this only happen to me? Of course not! Pet owners of all kinds know what it’s like to be the recipient of a pet’s jealousy.
Most of the time, this jealousy is natural and harmless. Maybe you’ve brought in a new cat/baby/boyfriend or you currently have two cats that vie for your attention. Either way, a little sibling rivalry never hurt anyone. Unfortunately, things can get a bit rough…
When Jealous Cats Attack
It doesn’t matter why your cat is jealous; what matters is that they’ve started to become aggressive. This is how some cats react when you shower your affections on another animal or person. There’s truth to the saying “All visitors must be approved by the cat“.
Aggressive behavior can be defined as:
- Swatting or swiping with their claws
- Hissing/growling
- Fighting
- Biting and/or scratching
If your cat is displaying this kind of behavior, it’s best to remove yourself from the situation. However, this is where experts and I tend to disagree…
Don’t ignore your cat completely. This will only make things worse. If your cat is hissing, growling or displaying other aggressive behavior, simply take your business farther away from them (as long as they are not outright attacking you/someone else).
Locking your cat up in another room or going to another room yourself sends the wrong signals. The problem is that they feel ignored in the first place, so here are some alternative options.
Reward Good Behavior
Wait until your cat has calmed down to approach them. Simply try to spend time with them, rewarding them with treats when they display good behavior. This will help reinforce good behavior versus bad behavior without having to resort to negative reinforcement.
Have Special Times Set Aside For Each Cat
Misha is very jealous, and she tends to get upset when I pay attention to Tippy. What I’ve done is set aside playtime for each of them with their favorite toys. Misha loves to play with her fishing pole bee toy, and Tippy adores her white cloth ribbon. Neither one is typically interested in the other one’s toy, so separate play times are easy.
Verbally Reassure Your Cat
To those without pets, this seems stupid. However, it really works! Those who have a good relationship with their cats have established a connection, a form of communication known only to them. You know what to say to your cat to reassure them, so make sure to do so! Let them know they are still loved and adored.
Use Pheromones
Whether you go with the spray or a diffuser, feline pheromones can go a long way in satisfying your cat’s jealousy. Pheromones calm and soothe anxious cats (in most cases) and can deter unwanted behaviors such as scratching or urine spraying. (Do not use perfume. What you spray might smell like you, but perfumes are harsh on a kitty’s nose and can cause respiratory problems.)
When All Else Fails…
If your cat’s jealousy is becoming a major problem, don’t let it go on forever. Talk to an animal behaviorist. Most pet insurance companies will cover behavioral therapy to some extent, so don’t hesitate to talk to your vet about this method. It’s better than battling your cat every day or trying to keep them from hurting someone else.
How have you dealt with a jealous cat? Leave your tips in the comments section. You never know… it may just help a cat parent in need!
It does take time. Back in 1989 my Suzy hated our two new kittens and flew at them whenever she saw them, but with plenty of reassurance they were one happy family eventually. I homed an abandoned kitten just over a year ago and Sammy wasn’t thrilled to have her here as he was the only cat for all his life. He still doesn’t like her much but it is getting calmer, especially now she’s bigger. I do make sure that they both have equal attention and reassurance – but people don’t always get along, we shouldn’t expect that automatically of our pets!
The best thing you can do is introduce them slowly and be patient. Patience goes a long way when it comes to kitties! I’m glad to hear that things are going better between them, and hopefully they’ll cozy up to each other even more as time goes on. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting!
My 3 year old cat, Cody, is super jealous of my new 1yr old cat, Bleu. Usually the attacks happen on the bed. I’ll be laying on my bed with Bleu and if Cody jumps on the bed he will growl and hiss sometimes even swat at him and them jump off the bed. Cody will eventually come back and if he still sees Blue on the bed he will begin to growl. I read above.. “If your cat is displaying this kind of behavior, it’s best to remove yourself from the situation.” What exactly does this mean? They don’t try to bite each other and Bleu normally backs down, so should I just get up and walk away? Go sit somewhere else? I read I’m not supposed to scold Cody or even spray him with water bottle, but I really feel like there is something I should be doing otherwise this situation will continue to happen. Please help.
You may find out as time goes on that Cody will get used to Bleu’s presence, but if it’s been awhile, and Cody is still displaying aggressive behavior towards Bleu, that could indicate a more serious problem with his behavior.
Removing yourself from the situation just means getting up and doing your business elsewhere (this can signal to the cat that his behavior is unwanted, and he may get the idea that he should stop whatever he’s doing). However, this is difficult when things like this happen in a place of rest like your bedroom.
My advice would be to try softly encouraging Cody to lay down with you. He may feel that he can’t be on the bed because Bleu has taken his spot. It’s important to communicate to him that it’s okay for both of them to be up there.
If the problem continues, and if Cody becomes more aggressive toward Bleu, it may be time to talk to your vet or a cat behavioral therapist about what you should do. I hope this helps!
I took in a 1 year old cat that had mostly lived outdoors and was no longer thriving once cold hit. I tried to introduce them slowly. It’s been 6 months and the new cat viscously pounces on the other cat and bites and twists at the stomach of my resident cat or will back the resident cat into corners and attack her. Once in a great while they will play together. I’ve tried everything but feel as if I’m not doing something right. Ideas?
My cat, Chloe is about 4 yrs. old. I bought my newer cat, abner about 2 1/2 yrs. ago. Chloe and I have always been very close! They’ve gone through the usual hissing and growling phase, and chloe does still at him alot. When I took abner to get neutered, Chloe was acting real happy he was gone. When he came back, she was bummed. She seemed to get over it and still just hissed at him. I took abner to the vet again last week and I had to leave him there for awhile. Again, Chloe was acting happy again and when I brought him back home, she acted different than before. Now she’s started spending most of her time under the bed in the spare bedroom and rarely comes out except to eat, use the cat box. She seems depressed to me and it breaks my heart! I try to spend more time with her, but Abner loves attention from me as much as Chloe does! Also, Chloe used to sleep in bed with me almost every night and she loved to play ‘fetch’ with me. Abner, however, loves to play ‘fetch’ as well and she won’t play once he joins in. Theres lots of little things like that happen where Abner interupts. And she gets very upset again! I’m going to get some pheromone spray and see if that helps. This has been going on for 21/2 years now and i’m afraid Chloe and I will never be like we were before! I realize this is a long question and i’m sorry! Thank-you!
Lisa W.
I have exactly the same problem. I think my cat Bettina is depressive with the new kitten and the worst is that she is becoming agressive with the kitten and with me. Bettina doesn’t allow me
To touch her or be close to her.
My Cat is doing this same thing, she tried to attack me because of a new kitten in the home
same story…. I feel nothing works. the only thing I have not tried – and I am having the hardest time finding one – is a cat psychologist. the 3 vets Ive asked about one prescribed antidepressants which made them act like zombies. I so would appreciate advice…